Sep

10

By admin

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Categories: celebrant musings

Lessons

I’ve come to trust not that events will always unfold exactly as I want, but that I will be fine either way.  The challenges we face in life are always lessons that serve our soul’s growth.  –Marianne Williamson

I like to plan ahead.  I’m a list-maker.  I’m most relaxed when the plan is plain, the destination identified, and the steps outlined.

Guess what?  Sometimes events happen so fast that there is no plan to be made.  Or suddenly I’m on Plan E instead of Plan A.  Sometimes change is hurtled at me and all I can do is hope I’ve enough reserves in my Just-in-Case Kit.

I want things to be fair.  I want them to make sense.  I hope to be able to persuade others of my obviously superior opinions.  There’s just not room for random anything.

Probably the biggest curve I’ve been thrown lately is injuring my knee.  Even before the ladder with me on top of it, trying to be a cat, hit the floor, the thought went through my gray matter that this fall would affect the rest of my life.

Almost every day I practice gratitude that I can walk, that the pain is diminishing, and that my strength is returning.  On the days when I forget, then I concentrate on the fact that it still hurts, that sometimes it just “goes out” for no reason, and the fear that I may never again move gracefully.

I do suspect my soul’s grown.  For sure I have increased empathy for those with physical limitations.  I treasure the helpers who were a part of my recovery, both those who brought food and expressed condolences, but also those who made me exercise and brought me to tears.  I’ve had the chance to do a lot of reading and learn some beautiful Threshold Choir songs. 

There have been “lessons”.  For one, I’ve learned to let others wait on me, not easy for someone as independent-minded as I. 

And I am “fine”, Ms. Williamson.

But I still wish I hadn’t fallen.