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Categories: celebrant musings

Let’s Talk

My 101-year-old aunt has fallen and broken her pelvis.  My brother, her great-nephew, has flown to Tennessee to be with her and make decisions about where she should reside.  She’s been in her apartment in assisted living.  Is it time to move to a nursing home?  Will the round-the-clock helper hired to keep her in bed be adequate for a few weeks and after recuperating allow her stay in her present home?  Is she safe?  Should she be in a hospital bed with an alarm-mat?  (ie, in a higher level of care)

First of all, my brother is a saint.  Every decision is based on what is best for Rowena.  Acting as an advocate is being god-like, as decisions have such dramatic consequences.  He is incredibly kind and wise, thoughtful and thorough.

Secondly, no one has a crystal ball.  After 101 years, is it Rowena’s transition time?  Will her money hold out long enough to take her there?  What is the responsible decision to make?  This is one of those time that after making the best decision possible, you have to offer it up and know that whatever comes, you did all you could.

 I’m reminded time and again how important having right-now discussions about our future wishes in such circumstances is so necessary.  We will not be able to address all the possibilities, but can establish some guidelines.

This morning I heard on NPR that the largest growth segment of our population is in the over-80 group.  In the very near future the elderly will overwhelm those tasked with their care. 

I will be one of those “old folks”.  The security I have is that I know our children and their families will give me the benefit of their wisdom.  I hope that I will do my part to make it easier for them.

 “Let’s talk…..”